Sunday, February 21, 2010

Yuckie Mommy

I have been so miserably sick it's insane. After B6 supplements, ginger candies, snaps, tea, real ginger ale, preggo pops, preggo bars, preggo tea, small meals, etc. etc. there's been no real relief. I even went as far as trying coconut milk and pickled ginger pieces. It's been awful. If my mom had not been home on school vacation I would not have been able to function at all. She really helped me take care of Evelyn while I ran every hour or so getting sick. I was hoping that SOMETHING natural would work but now that Mom is going back to work tomorrow and there has been no realistic relief I have caved to prescription meds. I'm taking 1/2 a dose of Zofram and it seems to be taking the edge off. At the least I am not throwing anymore so I'm just hoping that the nausea can stay at bay long enough to get through the day until Josh comes home.

On the other side Evie finally got her 3rd tooth!! Little bugger gave her horrid pain for 3 days before it finally cut through! Top right :) She's been such a little trooper. We've started talking to her about a baby. We know she can't really comprehend it but I'm hoping to incorporate the vocabulary and concepts in so they are not so foreign to her. We read books about having a new baby, etc. We've pointed out Evies belly and Mommy's belly and if you ask her "where's the baby" she'll point to my tummy and say "Bee bee" and kiss it. Soooo freggin cute.

I decided to have her take a nice big bubble bath with me and holding her all lil naked in my arms in the tub was just so surreal remembering when she was just weeks old nursing her in the tub, and here she is walking around, talking, laughing. It's just so surreal. Part of me is very thankful that I will be able to experience all the 'newborn' things again, but the other part of me really feels for Evie. She has been the center of our world, or unexpected miracle baby, and here we are adding another into her world, where she wont be #1 but an equal. (A really ashamed part of me looks at her when she's sleeping in my arms all snuggled to my chest and can't imagine being able to love anyone more) I just really hope I can be the mom for this new baby and still be the same Mom she knows and loves for her.

As far as the delivery goes I am back to square one again. The Birth Cottage has gotten special approval for me as long as I am followed by an endocrinologist(which I am anyway). The problem is that I am starting to have second doubts. I am worried about complications during delivery. The Birth Cottage is Free standing so the nearest hospital is a good 20 minutes away. I know with my delivery with Evelyn everyone thought things were going to go wrong but it was perfect. The OBGYN didn't do ANYTHING I asked her to do like, wait for the cord to stop pulsating before cutting it, let me feel the head as it crowns, or reach down to receive my baby, or let me nurse right away. etc. etc. etc. But I am now so worried that something is going to go wrong and there is no immediate hospital or doctor nearby. Hmph.

The other issue is that the alternative is the Dartmouth Hitchcock OBGYN center where my favorite perinatologist is out of. I love him to death but after a 1st appointment with them I am left kind of unimpressed. Part of my disappointment is that their facility works with a HUGE genetic research center so they STRESS HARDCORE genetic testing. Which I am really not in favor of. I agree to the spina bifida (sp?) testing because if the baby did have the disease a Csection would be a much safer delivery. Other than that regardless what the baby is/has we are going to keep it and love it and that's the end of discussion, so having more testing is just silly. The other problem is that after being left alone in labor with Evie for 4 days I really want a physician who is going to stay with me not peek in for 2 minutes and leave until they are "needed", I NEED someone the entire time. So I wanted to keep a midwife but unfortunately due to insurance purposes the Midwives associated with them ONLY do office visits and no deliveries. The hospital figures the OBGYNs need to be there for regular duties so why employ more people that wont be used 100% of the time. Stupid. The other problem is that they have a brand spankin new level 3 NICU and they REALLY talk it up!! Part of me is concerned about how much they boast about it, that they may unnecessarily send babies to the NICU just to kind of make use of their money. It costs millions to create it and thousands to house and staff it, I worry that they kind of 'needlesssly use it' so they can validate why they have it in their hospital. The last issue I had was trying to get hold of the Doctor on call when I was throwing so much, terrified I was getting dehydrated again. I called 4 times and had the Dr paged before 3 hours later someone finally called me back, now I know it wasn't a real emergency but that's just ridiculous.

So now I am back to weighing the pros and cons of each. I have another appointment with the Birth Cottage on Tuesday (which I am trying to move to tomorrow) and I have a HUGE list of questions to ask. Hopefully I'll get some more information and be able to get a clearer idea of what I'm going to do. Ugh. I just need some stability right now.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Down but not completely out...

I'm finally home from the Hospital. I was throwing so bad yesterday that I couldn't even keep down water, and when my blood sugars started dropping I knew I was getting too dehydrated. I also started spotting. So they sent me to the ER.

After waiting almost 2 hrs they finally sent me up to Maternity. It took the stupid nurse 3 tries to get my IV in before she finally called another nurse in who got it on the first shot. Unfortunately they didn't set the IV up to do my blood work so I had 2 other pokes for blood work. We were admitted and started on IV fluids.

They gave me some anti-nausea medication so I could finally keep down some soup. After 3 bags of IV fluid they drew my blood work which came back with elevated white blood cells. Apparently there's a horrid stomach bug going around so the DR thinks that I got the bad bug and accompanied with morning sickness it just made it all worse.

As for the spotting they think it could be either the RH- I had with Evie so they gave me a Rhogam shot, or it was simply from all the excessive strain of throwing so much.

They gave me an ultrasound and the baby looks great. I am estimated at 6wks 5 days today Smile Giving me a due date of October 3rd!! They warned me that all the dates can fluctuate a bit because each technician can get different measurements but Oct. 3 was the best they could come up with according to the information they had.

They still want me to keep my appointment with Dr. Kaufman on Tuesday so he can check more thoroughly. For now it's so far so good. They gave me 50mg of B6 to take daily and if that doesn't work they can prescribe something, i just really don't want to take Rx drugs if I don't really have to. So far today I've had some more chicken soup and as long as I eat sloooowly it's tolerable. Smile

DH made reservations at our favorite fancy restaurant on Sunday for Valentines Day so I'm really hoping that I can actually eat!!!

On another sad note it looks like I wont be able to deliver at the Birth Cottage after all. Since I have a history of Diabetes they consider my pregnancy High Risk so they Birth Cottage's insurance and licensure wont accept me as a patient.

I was not very impressed with the OBGYN team I had with Evelyn. The nurse who tended to me last night was the same nurse who delivered her, when I asked her what my due date was, she replied "Oct 3rd, but don't get too hung up on that date because you wont see it anyway," I was like, "um, excuse me?" and she explained "oh we'll induce you well before then." WHOA??? Why??!!! I'm only 6wks 4days why would you say I'm already going to be induced. That's crap. Even the perinatologist thinks I was unnecessarily induced with Evie, the HELL if I'm going through that again.

So we decided to go to the OBGYN at Dartmouth Hitchcock in Nashua NH where my Perinatologist Dr. Kaufman is from. This way he can monitor me and at his facility what he says goes! The plus side is that their midwifery center will accept me with consults so at least I get part of what I want. I'll be delivering at Southern New Hampshire Medical Center so I'm going Tuesday for our ultrasound, prenatal appointment, and a tour of the Birth Center. It should be a lot of fun.

I'm really excited to finally have a due date and know how far along I am. And especially seeing the little bean makes everything more real. Josh was so adorable, he spotted the heart beat before the technician even did. He was so proud of himself saying "well I know what to look for this time!" with his smug little big man grin. It was adorable.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Beverly's a Bust

Tuesday we went to the Beverly Birth Center for orientation. I was born there and my sister would have been delivered there if she didn't decide to come out in 20 minutes in my mom's living room (yes fear #1).

Unfortunately it didn't look like much has changed since 1985. My mom even recognized a lot of the furniture and art work haha. I guess a few months ago they lost their funding and were threatened with closure so Beverly Hospital took over and everything has gone so "medical tech." it's like delivering in a 'homey hospital room'. Not exactly what I was looking for. Also there are SEVEN midwives to get to know. And to top it off their appointments are only 20 minutes long. They preach all about midwifery being a 'family event' where they 'teach you and your family about your body and the developing baby' how much can you really accomplish in 20 mintues?! The other concern is that it's over an hour away from us annnnd off of a major highway known for traffic. I'm also not too happy with the idea of having to learn a whole new hospital also.

So we have decided to go with the Milford Birth Cottage. I am very excited now. We also learned that they work in conjunction with the Hospital and obstetric team that I had with Evelyn so I am already very familiar with everyone! There are only 2 midwives, they have hour long appointments and the best part is that they not only allow but encourage your kids to come with you to appointments. I can't tell you how many offices have a 'no children' policy.

I am so relieved. It honestly feels like things are starting to come together and become more real! Now it's just he endless countdown till our first ultrasound. 11 more days!!!!